I have been thinking about this post for quite a while but did not know how to go about writing it. I will probably be clumsy in expressing myself and I really hope I won’t offend anyone. If I miss the point, don’t hesitate to tell me. Just like you, I don’t know everything and I am not always right.
It all started with a tweet that had been directed to me, a tweet that had the best intentions. As a matter of fact the tweet, which was referring to an outfit post I had on the blog, told me how refreshing it was to see someone who ‘had a healthy body type and was not one of those scary anorexic models’ that you see in the fashion industry. As innocent and well-intended as this tweet might be, to me it ends up being quite close-minded and offensive. It is not only criticizing women who are thin and using negative vocabulary. It is also insulting those who actually suffer from anorexia, which is both a physical and mental illness that should never be made fun of.
However, I have to admit that in the past I am aware that I probably have – like many others and probably you too – given such compliment too, which I realize now is offensive in more ways than one.
I understand where the “compliment” comes from. We live in a society where the female body must be slim to be accepted. Thus, models, actresses and influencers tend to conform to those standards. They showcase one body type that is seen by the media to be ‘ideal shape’ for women, making us believe that we need to be like them to fit in society. Indeed, we’d all need to be slender. Anyone else won’t fit in. How good for body confidence is that? Not so good.
However, being slender does not mean you will not get shit for how you look. Because, yes, we live in a society that no matter how the woman’s body looks, people still find something negative to say. There will always be something wrong with a women’s body according to society. Too slim, too big, too tall, too small, so that regardless of body type, it seems that we are all subject to criticism. But that one comment about accusing women who are slim as being anorexic really struck me as wrong. Cut them some slack! They don’t make the rules of how women should look like so don’t make them pay if they happen to look like what society want women to look. And by society, I mean “men”.
What really confuses me is when people claim to be body positive, championing the ‘love yourself movement’ and yet are so quick to typecast women who are slim as suffering with a physical and mental illness like anorexia or bulimia.So, people are all about body positivity when it comes to curvy and plus size girls but won’t give the same chance to girls on the other end of the spectrum? Some plus size girls embrace their body and feel good in their curves. Some slim girls do too. Good for both of them. However, some plus size women struggle with body confidence and so do slim girls. It’s not just the prerogative of plus size women.
Being slim generates so many negative comments that those girls too need support. Also, some of them never choose to have the body that they have. They either are naturally slim – and get shit for it as “you should eat more” or “do you eat enough?” or struggle with anorexia and/or bulimia, which is a serious mental health condition. So with all the talks about mental health going on at the moment, being supportive of a chosen few is just hypocritical.
Tall, small, slim, plus size, everyone in between – you and I included -, body positivity and confidence is for everyone.
I ask you this…. Are you fed up of people making comments about your weight and image, who constantly tell you to go on a diet or eat more food? Does it irritate you when people call you names? Make fun of your weight or say you can’t wear certain clothes because of your size? Yes exactly, being ridiculed for what you look like is pretty shitty, so next time make a conscious effort to be more mindful of the words that you use to describe other people. Remember that weight is a sensitive issue, regardless of whether someone is petite or plus size. Support goes both ways. Considering the amount of pressure to conform to a body type every single woman is under, we need to support each other.
Fitting to what society expects someone to be does not mean they do not have their own struggles.
Shop the post
Denim Jacket – Primark
Bikini Top & Brief – Aubade Paris via UK Swimwear
Sandals – K Jacques St Tropez
Hat – Pia Rossini
Let me know your thoughts on the topic. Have you ever given such a compliment? Or be given one? How did you react?
Thanks a lot for stopping by. Hope you liked this post.
See you soon,
I can honestly say I’ve never received a compliment about my body size. And I’m teaching my daughters that as long as they’re healthy, body size doesn’t matter. They need to be confident in their own skin
I so agree, everyone should have body confidence. I admit, I struggle with this. But I try to always stay happy about the way I look, because I know my daughter is watching.
I love this suit by the way. Great color!
I have never been given a compliment about my body, not surprising though with my size. It is great though that body positivity for all sizes is coming about more.
Body confidence is so essential to having a healthy mind. It took me so long to feel completely confident in the skin that I’m in but I love it.
You’re a beautiful young woman. We don’t have to label bodies when complimenting people. Like when people tell me I look good, for my age. Really? Great post. Thanks for sharing!
I am short and fat, and with bulges in the wrong places. My body is not proportioned. I am not shy about my body, I am pretty confident, but I am not one who likes to bare. At most, I would wear a one-piece swimsuit, even when I was still thin! hehe
Such a beautiful post, indeed to me body size never mattered, what all mattered was self confidence and how we deal in life and make relations.
Amazing post. I am not great at body confidence. I hate when people judge and call you names. I was bullied of my weight from my childhood. I managed to get in a good place in college and now I gained a lot of weight a lot. So I struggle again. What people don’t understand is that maybe you make efforts to get more comfortable and maybe it’s hard. Maybe some people have health issues that make them look the way they look. I really like this post and thank you for writing it.
Stay positive on whatever size we are in, more of better to be fit and be thankful for being healthy!
Women have struggled with body image since the beginning of time. It’s important to be the best stewards of our body and try to just take care of ourselves. Compliments can be hard when you don’t feel the greatest about yourself, but it is good to still say thanks.
It’s so important to be comfortable in your own skin…also, your own skin is different than anyone else’s so it’s so bad when we compare because we are all different shapes and sizes!!! Embrace the uniqueness of our bodies!
You rock this swimsuit. I know people get really insecure when it come to swimsuit but we should love ourselves and dont let no one make us feel less than when it is pool and beach season.
You look beautiful! I love the way you have carried that swimsuit! It’s important to stay positive and confident no matter what your body type is.
I am quite satisfied with my body except for my belly fat. It just won’t seem to go away. My husband keeps reminding me that I should be proud of this belly because I nurtured three tiny humans in there. I guess he is right. Thank you for writing this post. It makes me feel good about myself, no matter what size or shape I am in.
What a nice post! I love the message it send out. Your swim suit is wonderful! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Thanks for such an inspiring post. I think people are sometimes overly concerned with how they look. I know people who are rail thin that think they need to diet, and overweight people who are completely comfortable with their bodies. Your swimsuit looks great on you!
Yes! We should not let other people put us down because of how we look. The standard in today’s society is ridiculous.
Now a days there is too much emphasis given to body shape, diets and looks. This all comes from tv, media , advertising. So many young girls get brainwashed into needing to be thin it’s scary. We should all learn to accept our bodies as they are.
I think we should all stop listening to what society thinks our body should be, our weight should be, how we should look everyday. It’s tiring, it’s toxic, and it’s limiting. We have so much more to offer the world. I love how honest and true this post is. So well-written.
Emphasis on looks today are getting too much. As long as I am healthy, I don’t care what they say.
Living happy in our own skin is what matters, people always tend to speak without thinking… I struggled with this in the past, I have always been thin and many times I heard this question: “Look at how thin you’ re… Do you eat?!”… I mean… What?!?! Ahahah… No, I no more hear this kind of comments, I’m happy and confident with myself!
I’ve never given a “compliment” where I said someone looked nice because of their weight or anything like that. I think it’s just wrong if some looks beautiful just say that they look beautiful and nothing else. I really like how you went about it all and shared you thoughts about the whole thing.
My body has changed over the years, especially since having a baby, but whatever shape or size that I am, I love it, that’s who I’m meant to be.
Great post! As a former model, I am very confident with my body and we should all strive to achieve that confidence at all times. You presented the information in a very personal and clear way which I really liked!
Yeah, sometimes it is quite tedious hearing how people react to your size or how we look. For some, it may affect their views in life and so as their self-esteem but for some, they just shagged it off and move on. At the end of the day, its still be me and body, not them not anyone.
People can be so judgemental and jump to conclusions very easily without actually realising that they may hurt someone. That they may only know a half of the story. This may do so much damage. I have a teenage daughter who is extremely aware about her look and is so scared what other people may say even if I’m trying to convince her that it doesn’t matter what people think.
It really does make me made to hear people constantly bashing one another for being a size that does not directly correlate with societies backward image of what the ‘perfect body type’ should be, especially when society is made up of people who all have diverse body shapes. Body shaming exists and it is rampant; we tell women who are slim that they are anorexic, we tell men that they are not muscly enough and we tell women that are plus size that they are fat. We can’t help the bodies that we are born with and it infuriates me that others are so quick to judge. The amount of times that someone has called me anorexic or a skeleton is more times than I would like to repeat and it truly is horrible. Why can’t we support each other as people rather than bodies? When did our friendships and relations became based on something as trivial as what size clothes someone wears. It is ridiculous.
Really don’t know what will be a “Perfect Body Type”? People criticize you in both ways if you are underweight or overweight. Even if you are lucky and be in between of this two category, they will find any other reason to make you down. So no one is perfect by other’s opinion and you are The Perfect in your own eyes. The fit and healthy body is perfect in every way. What a topic you selected to discuss.
Is there really a perfect body type, does it even matter? I’ve been bashed fro being both overweight and underweight over the years. Right now i focus on how I feel about my body and ignore what everyone else thinks.
There are several things that affect a person’s body type and we are nobody to make any “suggestions” or give back handed compliments. It is important to carry ourselves with pride and be comfortable in our own skin 🙂
I think we all have issue when it comes to not being accepting of ourselves as people. And I think partly it’s marketings fault because they keep telling us about what we don’t have to convince us to buy what they are selling us. This includes about our looks. Too fat. Too thin. Whatever. The most important thing is who you are on the inside. And it will radiate about you on the outside, no matter how you look.
Great post and a topic I think needs discussing more. We can never seem to win, regardless of body shape or size all seem to get critisised and I think this needs to stop. I’ve really struggled with body confidence over the years and had lots of hate because I am plus size but part of my issue with weight is due to a health condition which makes it even more frustrating when I get negative comments because I can’t help being the way I am but people don’t think is there a health reason why I am bigger just assuming I am lazy and eat lots.
Great post! I’ve been skinny-shamed alot. Now I’m in my late 20’s I could care less for throwaway comments that people make without thinking, but it still stings. Thank-you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this topic, let’s all support each other!
I agree that body confidence is for everyone! I do want to mention that the “body positive” movement was created for fat people to combat injustice towards those bodies in the fashion and medical industries. It’s addressing the fat phobia that is so present (and has been all through history) in our society and culture. It isn’t saying that thin people aren’t accepted- that’s where body diversity knowledge is so important! It’s just helping those in this marginalized group get access to care and ammentities that fit their bodies. Health can truly be at any size, we just have a fat phobic society that assumes anyone in a bigger body is unhealthy. Anyways, I’m sorry that you’ve received terrible comments towards your body- I agree that no one should EVER comment on another body no matter the size. xoxo